more bad news when i got home. i mean i wasn't having a great day anyway, but this just clinched it. first i am saying goodbye to my rrsp's which i've only had for a few years ...my financial situation is bad, so now after all of this money is gone, well who knows. my car insurance monthly payment bounced. fuck, like i am just waiting for the absolute worst to happen but i guess it hasn't. so i wait. i thought i was fucked before but now i know i just can't continually deal with what is happening to me. i can't. i am too proud to ask anyone for money. so i won't. i know i need help, because i know i will do something stupid. i had to stop myself this afternoon. life could be worse, and even though i have a roof over my head and food to eat, i'm waiting for those to disappear as well. i won't say anything too crazy, but i sure am thinking it. more frequently than ever in my entire life. i just want to say for the record, that i know i made promises. maybe help is right around the corner.

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