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the end is near - October 14, 2004 � � |
looking up
November 09, 2003 - 7:09 pm i managed to see the lunar eclipse last night. it was pretty awesome. in all of the three decades i've been on this rotating ball, i have never actually stood outside for as long as i did to witness an eclipse. perhaps it was overcast, as was the case this past may. or perhaps i was too busy to be a astronomy-nerd. but i there i was standing in zero degree weather looking skyward, clutching my binoculars and just taking it all in. i am the most amateur astronomer there ever could be. as with most hobbies it takes some money to get your pastime off the ground. so court and i will have to wait for that telescope we're always talking about. i'm also glad my girl got to see most of it too. i did kind of pressure her into checking it out. most times from where she lives, she can't see the moon at all(stupid roof) but somehow it was in view. wihtout the binocs the moon was reddish as it passed into the umbra. through the binoculars it was kind of red-brown, but still eerie. it's cool how you could still see the normal features but slightly tinted red. i was impressed. one day maybe we'll even get to an observatory. i think there's one in hamilton. i shall be ready ten days from now to witness the leonid meteor shower, and the weather better co-operate. i have only witnessed one awesome meteor shower. it was up around north bay in aug. 1988(i guess it was the perseid). we hardly got outside because of all of the horseflies. it sucked. but on the last night, we set up some lawn chairs and caught a brilliant natural light show. enough about astronomy. after the total ecipse, i went to rich & rachel's for a small gathering of the minds. it was us, her friend from high school. and andrew and james. it was quiet, had some snacks a few drinks and some laughs. it was nice to get out of the house and see some of my few remaining friends. i'm fed up with the rest of them, with their families and their houses. i thought that most of my friends were cool, but they've just bought into the materialistic yuppie kingdom that the boomers set up for us. big cars, big t.v's, all of the toys, etc. etc. fifteen years ago we were all violently against that. have i stayed in the past or have i still a shred of dignity. a part of me may want some of that scene, the house, the babies, and all the ikea furniture. but i'd still like that one thing or empty room that would set me apart from everyone else. so far i'm there. it seems that i haven't moved on or up and i have this $30,000 debt that i could have used on a new car or morgage my life away. you cannot afford a house and a new car on $15/hr. so when do i become a hypocrit or have i already become one. maybe that's why i have drifted from my friends because i didn't change and they did. they all have families now and i'm not close to that. but i'm not getting married and having kids because of my friends. i'm getting married and having kids because i love the woman i'm going to spend the rest of my days with. i want us to be comfortable and happy. and it doesn't mean we have to live in a brand new house with an s.u.v. and 2 and a half kids. that's not what i'm aiming for. and so i ramble... it just seems all of the things i despised in my youth i'm seeing in my friends...plus i'm bitter. and frustrated.and i have a headache right now , so i'm going to call it a night. meow meow meow. |
