|
the end is near - October 14, 2004 � � |
an easy decision
August 11, 2003 - 3:30 pm mere months(er, weeks) after uprooting where i have lived for the past 25 years, i am uprooting myself again. this time to another country. i am going to live with my girlfriend. she lives in pittsburgh. i currently live in st. catharines. it's about a four hour drive.(appr. 400kms) we have been in this long distance relationship for about a year now. in a couple of months it will just be a regular relationship where to people love each other and live under the same roof. when i think about it, it blows me away. i've never gotten along with someone so well to talk about( and be on the exact same level as) moving in together, getting married and having kids. it's like we are already there(well, except for the living together and having kids). so after making a decision which will alter the course of our lives forever. (and taking about a split second to do it) (finally) i feel great actually. a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. i am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the woman i love too. and although there are still paperwork hurdles to jump. people do it all the time and i know we can. i'll make sure that everything is done correctly and completely. there also is a chance that my application won't be accepted, but i perish the thought. and last resort is marriage by the j.p. (and then i real wedding later) so, why the seemingly quick about face? well, i'm not really happy in my new apartment, like i'd thought i'd be. it still smells like dog. there is a dog inside the apt. who was crying all morning.(like 5am when i was trying to fucking sleep) yeah, i love dogs. anyway, there is also a mild bug problem. i don't like talking about it because i'm severely embarrassed. i'm also embarrassed to have any of my friends over to this place. which i probably won't now. so yep, i'm putting most of my meager possessions in storage and gettin' the hell out of canada. yes, say goodbye to yet another health professional. (note to canada: you really should try and keep some) not that i'm moving to the garden of eden, but hey, i'll at least have my kitten by my side. (two if you count kitty) i will find a job. and we will be happy. and why not? my "career" in the niagara region has stalled after we were promised this and "promised" that. i know enough that it's slow in the summer time but it just makes sense to be with your girlfriend. and not 200 some odd miles and a clogged up border between you. i had my second to last therapy session today. and we were talking about my goals and feeling good about my accomplishments. and my goals are far from finshed but they are now coming into focus. you just have to go for it. do what makes you happy. take a chance. fuck, this is what i want. in the past year i've met my future wife. i've quit smoking. practised being an m.t. in ontario. moved out of my mom's and met some interesting people along the way. now my journey doesn't end in pittsburgh, it's just i've picked up my best friend and now we can really go somewhere. anywhere we want. |
