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the end is near - October 14, 2004 � � |
calmed down
March 14, 2003 - 12:02 am ok, i've calmed down a bit now. i've stayed off the computer for like 7 hours now. it was beginning to frustrate me to no end. i've been on it all day really, and i spend too much time on it. but i hope that will all change soon. so i think i've got this diary thing down now. i will eventually change my template but i'm not too concerned. i have seen some others and some of them look like mine, others are real "fancy". i took the picture out i had in yesterday because it was freaky. once i find a good one, i'll get someone to scan it and i'll post it permanently. i hope this diary is a healthy diversion for me. i'm hoping to have fewer and fewer updates because that will mean i'm busy and then i'll have at least something descent to say. i've been so depressed lately i'm starting to hate myself again. for a while there i was actually liking myself. i blame myself. but right now it's going to take something big to lift me out. maybe some friggin' warm weather for starters. and a better job. and to leave this fuckin' country i'm in. blah! p.s. don't be alarmed - this is me. the evil isolated mind of my enviroment. it comes and goes. |
